Though This Be Madness
by Burdenedwithgloriousporpoise
Summary: Loki's quest for peace led his realm to war; now it forces him to attack innocent Midgard at a tyrant's whim. What has he done? What can he do? Is he a hero or a monster? *Continuation of "Winter of our Discontent"


Loki floated alone through the cosmos, haunted by ghosts of failure. Fragments of warped and half-recognized images flitted through the silent stasis. Just a sound. Just to hear a sound. There was no opening of the eyes or relief at the ending of the dream; it was a maze, a heavy blanket of paralyzed black, rife with accusation and regret. Silence screamed in his ears. And with each replaying of past wrongs, each remorseful look back, the notion that this was just punishment.

It felt like lifetimes. Then the shocking sound of his own inhalation and a cascade of sounds—rustling cloth, shifting feet on the ground, his heartbeat, breathing. A blurry world emerged. Starry sky above and black rock beneath. Tears ran down his face.  
A stranger leaned over him; gray, blindfolded, shrouded in a golden cage-like mask. "Do you want revenge, little prince?"

Dizzy from malnourishment and stumbling on legs stiff from disuse, he followed the creature deeper into the barren world. The rocks became stairs leading to a clearing. Hovering above the rocks at the far edge was what appeared to be the back of a throne.

The throne turned. In the seat was a massive, armor-clad figure. His mouth went dry and his heart filled with icy fear. That cruel smile, that look in his eyes—absolutely crazed. But absolutely confident. The spirit that drove this creature was the spirit which he had loathed since his youth. Now here the tyrant was, personifying all he hated. And it was mightier than anything he had seen before. All of Asgard was like an ant beneath the boot of this Titan.

The man on the throne called himself Thanos, and he proposed a bargain. His ambitions were fixed on an artifact of immense power—the Tesseract-on the realm of Midgard. If Loki was to fetch that artifact for him he would be given the realm as a prize. To ensure his success, he would be loaned an army of immense power and a scepter to control them.

There was no negotiation of this bargain. But in being labeled Midgard's executioner, he had been placed in a position to be its savior. He was the only one who knew of the plot. He was the only one who could do anything to stop it. And he had been given an army. The details would work themselves out; perhaps this could be the means by which he might redeem himself.  
But Thanos was wise in the ways of human nature, and tortured Loki until his spirit was broken and freedom was a faraway dream. That dream slipped away during the seconds, minutes, hours of unspeakable pain. He was no longer a soul but a creature of mindless reaction. Finally, Thanos used the scepter to take control of his mind. He then gave him control of the army and set him on his mission.

Thanos' scepter and its control imbued a strong sense of his control and imperative, but also manipulated the victim themselves. It subdued memory and rationality while exaggerating their most visceral tendencies. In one sense it was Thanos' doing, but in another it was the victim's own, working out their darkest side the way they saw fit.

Loki went in secret to Midgard and researched. He discovered the Tesseract, and a familiar face with it: Erik Selvig, the astrophysicist father of Thor's Midgardian love. Loki began manipulating Selvig's mind through the scepter and watching through his eyes. It was here that he discovered S.H.I.E.L.D., and soon uncovered the Avengers initiative.  
The "Avengers" were a scattering of individuals with superhuman powers, all at odds with each other and some at odds with the world as well. Each one had an impressive list of feats. The initiative called for their assemblage. If they answered the call, they might be the only chance Midgard had for survival. But the team was fractured, petty and weak. Something drastic would have to be done to bring them together.

After research was completed, the plan was established. Thanos would manipulate the Tesseract to create a portal: Loki would go through, arrive in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Dark Matter Research Institute, take the Tesseract and use it to open another portal through which the Chitauri army would descend. After Midgard was subdued, Loki would give the Tesseract to Thanos.

The plan began. Crazed with pain and ripe with tumultuous emotion, Loki arrived on Midgard. But ragged, haggard, and defeated as he was, a small part within him refused to die—the same small part that recognized the Avengers as the realm's only defense. This subconscious shard of sanity directed the hurricane from deep within. A nudge here, a push there, an action done seemingly without thought. "I am burdened with glorious purpose," he said as he introduced himself to the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. It had a double meaning. The first was a proclamation of his conquest: the second, a defiant backhand at Thanos's control.

Loki overpowered the guards and took the Tesseract. Using the staff he recruited an Avenger: Clint Barton, alias Hawkeye. He also took full control of Selvig and escaped with the aid of both. They disappeared for a time, recruiting specialists to their cause and creating a makeshift headquarters. As days passed and the shock faded, he grew increasingly uneasy. He was too restless to eat or sleep, and pained exhaustion begot irritation. Something was wrong. Everything he had done so far felt natural in the moment he did it, but false at the same time. Twinges of remorse struck throughout each day. What was it?

But he forced himself to stop fruitless pondering. The sleepless nights and nauseous days continued, through, punctuated with telepathic harassment by the gold-masked creature. As their research progressed, it was found that the Tesseract was unstable. Selvig said that it wouldn't be able to sustain a rift of the needed magnitude unless if it was bolstered with a material called Iridium.

They located this material in a German research facility, a high-ranking official of which was attending a glamorous gala in Stuttgart. Barton would take a team to the facility and Loki would provide a way in. This could be the chance needed to attract attention. In the days leading up to the attack he ceased hiding. He didn't bother to change his name or to disguise himself. S.H.I.E.L.D was watching, but unsure of how to move; they would receive direction soon enough.

On the night before it began he sat on the edge of his bed. Another night lost. His mind was clouded and dark, confused and terrified at the claustrophobia of helplessness. He wasn't himself. It was as if something else had crawled into his head and...and...he was missing something incredibly important. What seemed so right as he spoke or acted lashed him with remorse in the next instant. Dissecting the feelings revealed an alien core—something that shouldn't be there, that wasn't him. What was it? Why couldn't he think straight? What had given him these wretched, hateful emotions?  
He couldn't even remember...  
Was he doing the right thing? A wave of warning, of fear. That was enough. He shouldn't ask that. Resistance and anger boiled over...

In a sudden burst of clarity the darkness receded and the thoughts—his thoughts-came together. He took a breath.  
Let him have it. Let Thanos take the reins; for now, let reason stop its hindrance. He would inhabit the person Thanos had made him to be, and only then could he be convincing. The unspeakable villain created would be the catalyst that created heroes. He could have no scruples. He would act the part, and as his reason slumbered it would be mercifully blind to the evil committed by his hands. He would re-awaken when it was time. He swore it.

The thoughts flashed through his mind in an instant and then Thanos had re-taken control. The haze swallowed him again, but now in the center was an inexplicable core of peace. Though a part of him knew he was wrong, it was somehow right. Loki slept soundly for the first time since his arrival on Midgard.

The next day the plan was set in action. Loki crashed the party with a violent entry, casually attacking patrons, walking through the screaming crowd and capturing the man they needed. He took an imprint of the man's eye and sent it to Barton as the crowd surged in a panicked stampede. Barton broke into the facility and stole the iridium as Loki herded the people out before the building.

In the midst of the chaos he revealed himself in full Asgardian glory, and kept the people contained using illusions of himself. He bade them kneel. For the first time since his arrival he had confidence. Once the terrified crowd had fallen silent, he lectured them on the human condition and his intention to rule. "In the end, you will always kneel."  
A man from the crowd stood and raised a challenge. "But not to men like you."  
The words cut deep, striking a spark of self-loathing. It felt as though he himself should have said the same had their positions been reversed. It felt as though he already had, to another failed king; but the source of the memories lay out of reach. The self-loathing flared into a conflagration of anger and Loki raised his staff. "There are no men like me," he said.

But as the blast was fired, it was deflected back and struck him in the chest. He climbed to his feet and was confronted by the First Avenger. Black Widow monitored from a military aircraft overhead, and Iron Man joined them.  
Loki fought to lose. If he was taken to their headquarters as likely he would be, he would have greater capacity to affect the entire team from within. The trio apprehended him and boarded the ship to the Avengers' mobile headquarters. However, their transport was disrupted by a lightning storm en route. As thunder rattled the small vehicle a new set of emotions broke through: Fear. Anger. Apprehension.

Thor.

The door burst open to admit his brother. As the crew of the ship froze in surprise, Thor seized Loki and jumped.  
Together they plummeted to the ground, landing on a rocky outcropping above the forest. Emotions swirled in a haze as Thor alternately berated him for his behavior on Asgard, spoke of his mourning over Loki's assumed death, questioned him over the Tesseract and exhorted him to give up his mission. Unbridled angst took voice and deep within, there was approval.  
But Thor's interrogation was cut short in the form of another flying figure. Iron Man and Thor hurtled from the cliff and into the forest. Trees fell, lighting struck, energy bolts flew and voices shouted. Loki watched in amusement.

Some minutes later the combatants returned, led by a newly appeared Captain America. The Captain—aptly named. He had brought Thor under his command? Loki smiled. Their trip to the base resumed without further interruption. That base was a massive flying machine, invisible from underneath. He was imprisoned on-board in a cell built to contain the Hulk, set to be jettisoned from the ship at the slightest sign of violence from within. His scepter was taken to Banner's lab for study.

Banner. The Hulk. His weakness was obvious to diagnose. Each of the other members had their own weakness, and their own trigger by which that weakness was revealed. Stark's egotistical brashness, though played humorously, also carried a dangerous edge that put him at odds with the others. It created the chink in the otherwise sound armor of the Captain. Captain America was mentally solid, healthy and respected; but his irritation at Stark's constant needling threatened to boil over into a brawl. Widow was untrustworthy and left a sour taste in the mouths of the others, while Thor was the odd-man-out. Nobody knew him; nobody knew whether they could trust him, and foolish Midgardian fear of the unknown left them with a faint, irrational dislike.

But Banner was the Bilgesnipe in the room, the tile whose collapse would bring down facades of control in the rest of the team. He was an emotional timed explosive with nearly unimaginable power, fueled by rage in his Hulk form and by fear when he was human. Through him all other weaknesses would be exposed. Would these weaknesses be overcome, or overcome the team? The trial by fire would be the catalyst of either unification or death.

Barton would be coming to extract him soon. The opening plays began.

Fury tried and failed to interrogate him regarding the Tesseract. Widow tried next. Loki tipped his hand, "accidentally" revealing the plan: enrage the Hulk and watch the chaos. This served to begin widening the divide between the already isolated Banner and the rest of the team. It was a simple plan, and told simply; but best of all it was a plan they could do nothing to stop. Like lingering suspicion after a rumor, its unsettling effect remained.

He then used the cell's monitoring system to create further self-doubt in Banner and discomfort among the team. As he worked, the strange power of the scepter began further exacerbating emotions and stifling reason. Things grew dangerously heated; then explosions rocked the helicarrier as Loki's team attacked. The game had begun in earnest with a perfect play on his side.

Banner transformed into the Hulk and began wreaking havoc. For a time there was no signal of what transpired save tremors as the ship was battered. Thor appeared before his prison and attempted to engage; Loki trapped him inside and threatened to jettison the cell. When the team's beloved agent Coulson stepped up to try and save Thor, Loki injured him. The wound was not mortal, but it seemed as through he was dead. Loki then jettisoned the prison. War on the Avengers had just become personal.

Loki escaped with his team and was re-united with the Tesseract. They had lost Barton, but there were more important things to consider. Now that the Tesseract was stabilized and ready, some sort of large power-source was needed to activate it. Any reactor would work. But the small voice within gave a nudge: Stark Tower.

It would be the perfect platform from which to attack; a slap in the face to the Man of Iron and a stage on which to showcase his invasion. Once the final preparations were finished, the attack was launched. Above the city of New York a rift opened and through it poured the Chitauri hoard.

The Avengers were quick to intercept. The battle was hectic, in the air on hijacked vehicles as well as on the ground.  
Barton made his re-appearance on the side of the Avengers, reclaiming his title of Hawkeye, and destroyed Loki's vehicle. In the explosion Loki was thrown back into the Tower with Hulk on his heels.

Ceiling.  
Where was he?  
Had he been unconscious?  
Mild panic. No memory of this place. His body felt like it had been shattered, and the floor was pitted and cracked. Something was different, though.  
What had happened?  
He crawled upright and bits of memories returned.  
The sound of an arrow drawn back.  
A deluge of recollection, the events of the past months flashing by in clarity. It felt like watching a play. All of his actions, all of his memories recalled through the crisp lens of a reclaimed mind; the uncovering of his guiding subconscious in each step taken.  
Surprise, relief, heart-pounding elation.  
His mind was his own.  
And now the culmination of those hellish days stood before him: the Avengers, complete, unified, battle-tested and victorious. A wall had been built around Midgard and had stood the test of combat. Thanos had been rebuffed. Loki was victorious, although they hadn't the faintest idea. It didn't matter for now. In the present...He smiled, then winced. "If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now."  
But though he clung to it, the elation was short-lived. The following day found him with a a muzzle over his mouth and a hand chained to one side of the Tesseract's case. The other side was gripped by Thor, whose angry glower was only a taste of the wrath to come.  
There would be no escaping this time.  
Thor used the Tesseract to transport them back-back to looming judgment and hearts of stone. Back to burning rejection and a lifetime of agony. Back to disapproving glares and the pain of the world's hatred. Back to almost certain execution.

Back to Asgard.


End file.
